Cake
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    • Same milieu, different solution to starting the F-word:

      Which reminds me, as a high school upperclassman who didn't use the F-word, I did say 'shit' pretty often. Which was a potential problem for me when playing tennis -- plenty of mistakes occurred that inspired the exclamation, but swearing was bad form and could get me and my doubles partner in trouble. So I started substituting. Since I'd get the 'shhhh' sound out pretty routinely, I went with a 'nonsense word' that matched: the French word for 'smurf', which is 'schtroumpf'. This seemed appropriate to me, since as any child of the 80s could tell you -- even one like me who was only allowed to watch public television -- 'smurf' can mean anything!

    • What an elegant solution to a teenager’s desire to vent in public.  I did not know that there even was a French version of the word smurf (!).

      My earliest memory of euphemisms in place of profanities was also on television.

      “H-e-double hockey sticks!”
    • I always liked the dubbed lines they'd use in network TV airings of movies.

      I fondly remember watching Die Hard with a Vengeance on TV and laughing uproariously when Zeus called McClane a "racist melon farmer" instead of the more profane original line.

      And then there's the classic TV edit of The Big Lebowski in which Walter destroys a Corvette while yelling, "You see what happens Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?!"