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    • FOX News reports the discovery of a trail of 13 fossilized footprints in a desert in northern Mexico, just 190 miles south of Eagle Pass, Texas. Scientists from Mexico’s National Institute of Anthropology say the footprints are between 10,000 and 15,000 years old.

      “These people were very clearly heading north to the border,” says archaeologist Yuri de la Rosa Gutierrez. “This is the earliest evidence of illegal immigration into North America from Mexico ever found.”

      When President Donald Trump learned of the discovery, he demanded that NASA send ICE agents back in time to arrest these ancient illegals. House Democrats disagree with Trump's decision, saying "there are better uses for America’s time travel technology." However, Trump is resolute, tweeting yesterday that "here is proof we should have built the Trump wall 10,000 or 15,000 years ago.

    • This post brought to you by our Humor Research and Development Department. Not every experiment is successful. We took this post back to the lab and it's been updated with a better punchline.

    • I appreciate your continuous improvement process in the furtherance of mirth and guffaws. Have you met my friend Kaizan?

    • I have now. But I usually stay away from the Ted Talks franchise and any of it's products, local or national. However, I will be sending them my suggestion for a new slogan: "Ted Talks: We Make The Obvious Interesting." (That's too harsh a judgement, especially since I purposely haven't watched many of the videos. Of the one's I've seen I will say that I'm impressed by folks public speaking and presentation skills).