You wake up on another world you’ve never been to before. A computerized voice reminds you that today is your retirement and that everyone you’ve worked with for the past thirty years will be at the party tonight.
“Put out to Pasture” by apm
Hechter hated the whiney computerized voice.
“Why don’t you just shut it?!” he thought to himself.
To the voice he replied with a more appropriate acknowledgement and got out of bed.
Pulling back the curtains, Hechter stood stunned as he watched the two suns rise.
“This is not Earth!”
“You are correct,” said the now sarcastic computerized voice. “You say that every morning and every morning I tell you that you are on Baroneus 7. Now get the lead out or you’ll be late to work.”
Hechter does what any normal human would do when confronted with a dual sunrise and the knowledge that he’s not in Oklahoma anymore.
He tells the voice to call work and to tell his boss that he’s too sick to come in.
He then goes back to bed.
When he wakes up he’s back on Earth.
“It must’ve been a dream.”
Or was it?
Feedback I could use
My goal was to write something as tightly as possible with a smattering of humor in what should hopefully be a two minute read.
What was good about this writing attempt?
What could’ve been better?
What’s one suggestion that could help with my next attempt?
Your kind and thoughtful answers to any or all of these questions is greatly appreciated!