This may sound a tad bit crude, but there's a few variables at play here and part of what you seek is in riding more.
First and foremost is saddle fit. Saddle technology has come a LONG way since you last rode and there are innumerable saddle manufacturers out there that provide a fitting chart or template to measure the width of your sit bones and find the appropriate saddle width/density for your body. SQLab, Ergon, just to name a couple that really dial in their fit.
Secondly there is, unfortunately, the issue of strengthening your nether regions to sitting on a saddle for longer time periods. Some of that strength comes from just riding often and building up tolerance in that area of the body to sitting on a saddle. Once you have the correct saddle width and type; that becomes easier.
There are, of course, accessories and gear that will aid you. I always recommend a VERY good chamois pad in a set of cycling specific shorts or bibs. My favorite being ASSOS, but there are a number of bib manufacturers out there that come equipped with very comfortable chamois'. Pearl Izumi, Rapha, Castelli, et al Not all chamois pads are created equal, so a little research into the varying levels of pad will go a long way.
Then there is the addition of chamois cream or powder. This supplement is strictly designed to reduce skin-skin friction in your nether regions. Chamois cream works to add viscosity to your skin surface and allow everything to move as freely as possible. Anytime you put the body into a semi-restricted plane of motion; it's going to create points of friction and all sports have their plethora of balms, creams, powders, etc... to aid in the reduction of friction. Powders are okay... but won't last as long as creams and with the new revelations about the correlation between Talc and Asbestos; I'd caution against putting common OTC powders on your twig-n-berries.
If you have selected a proper saddle, are wearing a very good chamois, and the bike fits your physical proportions; saddle soreness should abate pretty quickly. I ride in the thousands of miles per year with many rides/races pushing into the double digit of hours on a saddle and typically only put chamois cream on for rides that extend beyond 2 hours.
To keep it simple, ride more; there will be discomfort for awhile until your body adapts, but there should not be pain.