• Log In
  • Sign Up
    • I am curious if anyone has an ability or a set of questions or a technique to tell if someone is full of crap?

      I recently found out something about a person I had done some consulting for a few years ago. It startled me to learn this. It wasn't like he physically hurt someone, but what he did he can be considered dishonest and untrustworthy. This troubles me as I thought he was a really good guy.

      How did I miss this??? What can I do to better myslef to read people???

    • I wish I had a good answer to this. One of the strangest things I experienced working for the Raiders was the ability of almost all of the coaches, and a majority of the players, to be able to tell who was full of crap. They didn't necessarily share that they knew someone was fake, but most of them could read a person instantly. They generally did the bare minimum for those they knew they couldn't trust, and then would be much more open with those they knew were real. I remember walking into a coach's office to do an interview and he was literally able to tell me about myself within 30 seconds. It was a skill they needed to have in order to be able to coach multiple types of personalities, big egos, different learning types, etc, and it was one of the skills I admired most.

    • I can't always read someone right away, but a big tell for me is when someone is unable to admit they made a mistake or that they don't know something.

      Everyone makes mistakes and nobody knows everything, so in general it shouldn't be a big deal to say "I don't know" or "oops, my bad". But some people seem to have a pathological inability to do this, and will go to great lengths to try to warp reality to cover up a mistake or a lack of knowledge.

      This is a massive red flag for me, since it means that person is either lying to me (which is bad) or lying to themselves (which is even worse).

    • I agree with Ryan. Simply saying "I don't know" gives me some confidence that someone does know about the other things they talked about.

      Another tell for me is an empty non-answer answer. Talking around an issue like some politicians and business executives do.

      And I don't like to discover bad news that someone has been withholding. It makes me think I won't know about the next bad thing either. There is a great moment in Darkest Hour when the king prevails on Winston Churchill to tell the people what is really going on with the war.


      Many years ago I did this program and used it to analyze video that I converted from tapes to Non Linear Editing systems. working for forensic psychologists to aid in court cases and corporate intelligence to sort out toxic personalities, and study interviews and depositions to assist in discovery requests by knowing when and what subject matter witnesses where showing the most signs of deception on.

      "Lie to me" the TV series was good if you also read Ekman's blog entries on the episodes to sort out the theater from the science.

      also and the book liespotting by her is a body of information worth reading. the book gets dry toward the end but is worth getting the basic concepts to start.

      And On Second Thought by Wray Herbert is a good read to look at how we behave ourselves.

      These two books should have been written ten years earlier, I wish I had them in the late 1990's

      digging deep into these subjects can be very disruptive to your personal life, you may target fixate on a false target. lose faith in humanity. or just wish you didn't fully understand the premeditated actions of others. Also looking at your own deceptions and mitigating that is some serious personal discipline. It can anger others because it makes it hard for an adversary to leverage you.

      Another thing to explore is how our memory actually works

      Eyewitness testimony is fickle and, all too often, shockingly inaccurate

      I also worked for over 10 years as a hired gun for my local and national TV news organisations. I have put in tens of thousands of hours with my eye in the viewfinder and the camera powered up, if not recording. I wore out 5 professional video cameras. Doing a interview and playing back the quotes on tape was a shock after understating how memory works. after that the quotes I called in came with time code and 100% accuracy for sound bytes. because i did not trust my impression of the statements I alway played back the footage. Once the news directors found out I had special training they would call me into the stations to sort out if a story was going sideways and if so where. Public Information Officers are not legally obligated to be truthful to the press under the guise of protecting the investigation. I didn't know what exactly they were deceiving to press about but I could quickly find what they did not want us to look into. And not because they were protecting the public but rather hiding incompetence and exculpatory evidence for the defendant.

      The good cops absolutely trusted me and never feared me often ordering me to stay closer to them in hot situations. The bad cops feared me almost worse than a violent criminal because the camera represented a power they could not deceive.

      Ultimately I ended doing that work after several threats to my Life, safety, and freedom from members of law enforcement. and the TV stations where intimidated to air the evidence of coercion.

    • Wow, how fascinating. But a little bit soul-destroying. I mean, how the mind mis-remembers and memories get contaminated, that's fascinating. How people intentionally mislead for the purpose of winning elections or whatever, that's awful.

      Thanks for posting all this.

    You've been invited!