Cake
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
    • The MeToo movement gained traction on social media a few years ago to highlight the shockingly high occurrence of sexual harassment that females face and are forced to live with every day. This movement resurfaced again this past week as many popular streamers/gamers were accused of sexually assaulting their female colleagues, friends, and acquaintances.

      With these allegations, some people are calling for the abusers to be banned permanently.

      Cancel culture is a hotly debated topic as a result of the MeToo movement. Should sexual abusers be banned permanently from the platforms where the abuse happened in the first place? Should they be banned from the entire industry all together? Should they be given a second chance if they've changed or if the abuse happened when they were much younger but are now adults? Should they be allowed to earn a living? How far should they be "cancelled"?

      Many of these accusations are "he said she said" cases. A girl could accuse a guy of sexually assaulting her even if it never happened. So do we just believe every "victim" without even giving the accused the benefit of the doubt? Should we always assume victims are truthful while the accused are always lying?

      Victims of sexual assault should always receive support just for being brave enough to make public statements, but false allegations are also extremely damaging and can completely ruin someone's career and life. Often times the onus is on the accused to clear their name if they are innocent, not on the victim to prove their claim. Guilty until proven innocent. Allegations can be just as damaging as actually committing the offence, and this is because of how sexual predators are "cancelled". Would false allegations be less of an issue if cancel culture wasn't so prominent?

      It's a very delicate topic but also a very important one that needs to be addressed. Sexual harassment and assault can happen in any industry. Do you think there's any way to stop it? What punishments do you think would perhaps mitigate this issue?

    • I think you need to take it case by case. The one group that I’m ok cracking down on are those who sexually abuse children. That’s a group that, if it were up to me, would be locked away for good.

    • I think for public figures, it sends the wrong message if a sexual harraser gets a second chance.

      I love the show Better Things, however, if Louie CK was still involved with the show I would not watch it anymore. You’re famous and have enormous power to destroy people’s livelihoods if they complain about your abuse.

      Mario Batali is a celebrity chef who had a multitude of sexual misconduct complaints made against him. He was kicked out of his retaurant empire. A few years later, he tried to restart his career and was dumbfounded that no one would touch him. You’re famous and have enormous power to destroy people’s livelihoods if they complain about your abuse.

      It's a very delicate topic but also a very important one that needs to be addressed. Sexual harassment and assault can happen in any industry. Do you think there's any way to stop it? What punishments do you think would perhaps mitigate this issue?

      Curious as to what you think, @JazliAziz.

      Further reading

      <><><>

      H/t @gorudy

    • We had a neighbor in Los Altos, a VP of HP, and everyone’s favorite dad. One of the neighbor girls, 6 years old, told her mom that he had touched her inappropriately. They investigated. We all kept our kids away from him. We all concluded you can never know for sure who is a pedophile. He went to jail and was fired from HP.

      5 years later, the girl approached her parents, sobbing, saying she made the stories up to get attention, that she didn’t know what she was doing at the time, she had no idea any of that would happen.

      He was eventually cleared, but to the best of my knowledge, he was never the same again. None of us were. It changed how I interact with children forever.

      Don’t get me wrong, I despise pedophilia and know how many children’s lives have been destroyed by it. I blame it for all of us overreacting in this case and wrecking a good man’s life.

    • Curious as to what you think, @JazliAziz.

      I don't think there's a single simple solution to the problem, but one thing that should be done is to educate children from early on that women are to be respected. If we tell kids when they're young to respect women, who know? Maybe they'll actually grow up to become decent human beings who don't mistreat women.

    • That’s awful! Given the gravity of the matter, you do need to thoroughly vet things. A former high school coach at Mountain View High had the same thing happen to him. I’m sometimes surprised at how things aren’t investigated as closely as they should, which leads to wrecked lives. Unfortunately, you are right that you need to be really careful about how you interact with children. That’s why the LDS church has the policy that missionaries can’t be with children by themselves. It’s for the missionaries’ protection.

    • If there’s a clear pattern of behavior on someone’s part that makes it obvious they are a threat to society, they should be locked up. That’s the group I’m referring to. Your friend obviously wasn’t in that category, nor was the coach I know.

    • Have you ever watched the documentary The Thin Blue Line by Errol Morris? Incredible.

      It brings home the point that the innocent often appear guilty while the guilty appear innocent. The guilty have everything to hide so they become expert at doing things to win everyone’s trust. Cosby would never tell a suggestive joke because he’s so wholesome, America’s father.

      The innocent have nothing to hide, so they they don’t take their trials seriously and are rightfully angry about being put on trial, not a demeanor that endears them to juries.

    • I haven’t seen that. It sounds interesting. That makes a lot of sense. We sadly now live in an era is all you need is an allegation and you are cooked.

    • One other point is that from my understanding, pedophiles almost always have several victims. They almost can’t control themselves. So, if you catch one, odds are really good you can find others who will come forward with similar experiences. So in the case of your friend, if he was molesting young girls, odds are good there would have been multiple girls in the neighborhood who experienced the same kind of inappropriate touching. That’s a major data point that seems to have been thrown out in the case of your friend and the coach I know. Tragic.

    • This happens to teachers sometimes. One of my female colleagues was accused. Her life was turned upside down and she was going to lose her job. Somehow someone found out that the student had a history of accusing people of things they hadn’t done. Since they were new to the area nobody knew this. The teacher’s life was horrible for a while and it almost all ended for her.

    • Interesting point. When I was a Bishop in the LDS church, I had a few cases of pedophelia from the last people I would have suspected — people who teach children, serve in Scouts, are sports coaches, etc. Without ever really thinking about it, I always assumed those occupations were filled with angels.

      The General Authorities were casually blunt about it: pedophelia cannot be cured. What? These were men who thought gay men and women could change their sexual orientation.

      So I checked with psychiatrists. They said emphatically, you cannot change a pedophile; you can only protect children.

    • Here’s the scary part: “In about 60% to 70% of child sexual abuse cases involving pedophiles, the perpetrator is a relative, neighbor, family friend, teacher, coach, clergyman, or someone else in regular contact with the child.”

    • ⬆️What makes that scary is it’s often committed by people who the child and their family trust. So sadly, someone like “everyone’s favorite dad” would be a common culprit. You just gotta do your background work on these people and the accusers if necessary. I believe if people go about things in a methodical manner, they’ll more often than not get to the bottom of it with as little damage done as possible.

    • One thing I should add is I feel fairly well versed in this depressing topic given that I’m a huge Michael Jackson fan. If you are in the Michael Jackson fan community, you learn a lot about it whether you want to or not. And for the record, upon doing some deep dives into the Michael Jackson allegations, I’ve come away believing he was innocent. Every accuser seemed to have financial motivations, he was raising children of his own, the extensive FBI files on him didn’t indicate he was harming children, there were other then children like Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman who said nothing happened, and Jackson himself vehemently denied the allegations. So, I’ve come away being sensitive to those who I feel were falsely accused.