Cake
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    • That’s awful! Given the gravity of the matter, you do need to thoroughly vet things. A former high school coach at Mountain View High had the same thing happen to him. I’m sometimes surprised at how things aren’t investigated as closely as they should, which leads to wrecked lives. Unfortunately, you are right that you need to be really careful about how you interact with children. That’s why the LDS church has the policy that missionaries can’t be with children by themselves. It’s for the missionaries’ protection.

    • If there’s a clear pattern of behavior on someone’s part that makes it obvious they are a threat to society, they should be locked up. That’s the group I’m referring to. Your friend obviously wasn’t in that category, nor was the coach I know.

    • Have you ever watched the documentary The Thin Blue Line by Errol Morris? Incredible.

      It brings home the point that the innocent often appear guilty while the guilty appear innocent. The guilty have everything to hide so they become expert at doing things to win everyone’s trust. Cosby would never tell a suggestive joke because he’s so wholesome, America’s father.

      The innocent have nothing to hide, so they they don’t take their trials seriously and are rightfully angry about being put on trial, not a demeanor that endears them to juries.

    • I haven’t seen that. It sounds interesting. That makes a lot of sense. We sadly now live in an era is all you need is an allegation and you are cooked.

    • One other point is that from my understanding, pedophiles almost always have several victims. They almost can’t control themselves. So, if you catch one, odds are really good you can find others who will come forward with similar experiences. So in the case of your friend, if he was molesting young girls, odds are good there would have been multiple girls in the neighborhood who experienced the same kind of inappropriate touching. That’s a major data point that seems to have been thrown out in the case of your friend and the coach I know. Tragic.

    • This happens to teachers sometimes. One of my female colleagues was accused. Her life was turned upside down and she was going to lose her job. Somehow someone found out that the student had a history of accusing people of things they hadn’t done. Since they were new to the area nobody knew this. The teacher’s life was horrible for a while and it almost all ended for her.

    • Interesting point. When I was a Bishop in the LDS church, I had a few cases of pedophelia from the last people I would have suspected — people who teach children, serve in Scouts, are sports coaches, etc. Without ever really thinking about it, I always assumed those occupations were filled with angels.

      The General Authorities were casually blunt about it: pedophelia cannot be cured. What? These were men who thought gay men and women could change their sexual orientation.

      So I checked with psychiatrists. They said emphatically, you cannot change a pedophile; you can only protect children.

    • Here’s the scary part: “In about 60% to 70% of child sexual abuse cases involving pedophiles, the perpetrator is a relative, neighbor, family friend, teacher, coach, clergyman, or someone else in regular contact with the child.”

    • ⬆️What makes that scary is it’s often committed by people who the child and their family trust. So sadly, someone like “everyone’s favorite dad” would be a common culprit. You just gotta do your background work on these people and the accusers if necessary. I believe if people go about things in a methodical manner, they’ll more often than not get to the bottom of it with as little damage done as possible.

    • One thing I should add is I feel fairly well versed in this depressing topic given that I’m a huge Michael Jackson fan. If you are in the Michael Jackson fan community, you learn a lot about it whether you want to or not. And for the record, upon doing some deep dives into the Michael Jackson allegations, I’ve come away believing he was innocent. Every accuser seemed to have financial motivations, he was raising children of his own, the extensive FBI files on him didn’t indicate he was harming children, there were other then children like Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman who said nothing happened, and Jackson himself vehemently denied the allegations. So, I’ve come away being sensitive to those who I feel were falsely accused.