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      A family is sitting at a picnic table with their eighteen month old baby. The baby is pacing and smoking a cigarette.

      (shouting at the baby)

      “Come back to the card game. It’s your turn to draw.“

      Baby Nikki throws the remains of her cigarette butt at a passing stray cat.


      “I want to play for animal crackers—-no more juice boxes.”

      A crash can be heard from off screen.

      The family turns towards the sound

      And sees a monkey barreling down the alley

      On a moped.

      (shouting at the monkey)

      “I told you I didn’t want you having a play date with my baby. You’re nothing but trouble and the same goes for your simian family.”

      The monkey jumps off the still running moped and starts to drag the baby.

      MONKEY (translated from Simiam)

      “C’mon Baby Nikki, everybody’s waiting at the docks for our play date. Weezer even has bottle rockets.”

      The monkey is strong for its diminutive size and the baby is dragged several feet.

      Papa, who has remained silent until now, gets up from the picnic table and walks slowly towards the monkey that’s slowly dragging the baby.

      MONKEY (translated from Simian)

      “Oh, so you had to involve the grownups? You think you’re better than me, Baby Nikki? I don’t need this. I’m outta here!”

      The monkey releases the baby’s arm, flashes a gang sign at Mamma and Papa, and then climbs up a drain pipe to elsewhere.


    • Ok. This picture pretty low resolution. Very early Digital Camera Tech.... but YES, Monkeys have been trying to figure out how to ride motorbikes for a while now... They will get the hang of it sooner or later (this was taken at Angkor Thom in Cambodia in 2001).