They GAVE me Quibi for free.

I’ve been exploring this micro-content smartphone-only overhyped failing-beyond-belief streaming service and it’s really weird. You tend to pay money for streaming services like Netflix or YouTube Premium to avoid seeing all those ads.

But Quibi is providing “sponsored content.” Some of the sponsorship is barely noticeable, such as a five second pause on an image of Flo from Progressive Insurance before viewing the music videos on Shower Sessions, which I favorably reviewed this week.

I Watched Six Shower Sessions Streaming on QuibiThe gimmick is that a vocalist accompanied by an acoustic guitar or piano sings a song in a literal shower. No water running and no nudity. Shower Sessions is a series of acoustic sets from artists ...cake.co

And that’s fine with me. But when the Walmart Branded content is just Walmart employees singing or dancing, you have to stop and say,

WTF Quibi?!

Here’s what you’re currently missing by not subscribing to Quibi:

Episode #1. LeBron James buys office supplies from Walmart for school students.

Episode #2. A Walmart employee sings and talks about working at Walmart.

Episode #3. Walmart Employees Rap Battle.

Episode #4. Walmart employees dancing in the aisles of a Walmart store.

I wish I was making this up.

(Tagging @JeffersonGrahamPhoto)

I have my lower lip out about Quibi because while Katzenberg and Meg Whitman were raising money, we were too. While they were able to raise $1.7 billion, we were able to raise almost nothing. Yet companies in their space were not valued highly, but companies in our space were.

It seemed to me that maybe instead of putting $1.7 billion into Quibi, how about $1.69 billion into them and $10 million into us? Instead, Magic Leap, Lime and Bird sucked up all the monies.

I think it means I must suck at my money raising skillz.

I think it would be interesting to know where all the “smart money” came from for Quibi. It almost sounds like a Ponzi scheme where the valuation increased significantly with each round. Or is it like the movie The Producers where they intentionally fail in order to steal the money?

I can’t totally blame the investors when Katzenberg is behind this venture: look at his track record over the last thirty years.

Maybe we should do a panel with Target employees talking about their favorite deodorant and why they like working at Target. You know, like Quibi.

😉