Cake
  • Log In
  • Sign Up
    • Hi Cake People!

      I want to ask for some advice. How are you handling the isolation and loneliness caused by the pandemic? I've always been lonely as I'm physically disabled in a society that makes me feel unworthy and undesirable, but this pandemic has changed the whole ballgame for me. I'm high risk so I've been staying home and only venturing out in open outdoor situations while staying away from people. The isolation is really getting to me. I try to talk to friends, but everyone is depressed and stressed out so conversations are quite brief and shallow. I'm fortunate that I have been able to remain employed part-time, but I have no motivation these days. I make sure that I eat even when I don't want to and I have been sticking to my normal morning routine of getting up and showered when I'd rather stay in bed. What can I do to feel better?

      Thanks for reading :)

    • Forgive me in advance if I share any advice that you already know or that is completely wrong or utterly useless.

      <><><>

      From discussions with friends who are disability advocates, I know that many counties, states or provinces will have a disability board that provides services at no cost or reduced fee. Community transportation to the grocery store and physician appointments is a common service. Sometimes they provide services to speak to a counselor or therapist. If you feel that might help, I would contact them to find out what’s available including Skype and phone sessions. (I don’t know you, so I offer it up as possible resource rather than as a recommendation.)

      In dealing with the stresses of the pandemic, having a set routine seems to help many people versus

      -getting up whenever,

      -finally getting dressed in the late afternoon,

      -staying up later and later.

      Getting some form of exercise every day is incredibly helpful, even if it’s a short walk around the block when it’s safe to do so: or around your home if it’s not.

      I don’t think having a routine or regular exercise will eliminate the loneliness, but it could help in managing it—emphasis on “could.”

      My last suggestion is to spend time every day journaling, whether in a notebook or on the computer. Your mind can engage in an endless cycle called “perseveration” where you think about something upsetting and can’t stop thinking about it even though you’re just repeating the same thoughts over and over. Taking twenty minutes to just write or type uncensored can allow those thoughts to leave your brain: it’s like venting to someone else.

      <><><>

      Again, I make no guarantees that doing these things will be a magic cure for loneliness. But what I do know is that they’re unlikely to make things worse.

    • I've been living alone for almost five years.

      One thing that is essential is making certain that your body is as healthy as your condition allows. For example, because I was not being monitored regularly I was unaware that I had developed a severe case of Vitamin D deficiency. After I was put on prescription strength Vitamin D supplements, I started feeling a lot less enervated. There are other biological things that can exacerbate the effects of isolation so make certain that you are being medically monitored.

    • To answer your question in a roundabout way.. I don't need to deal with anything and I suffer nothing, as long as am healthy and independent.

      Alone is not same thing as being lonely. Even though I, as perhaps every other human, need interaction with humans and value quality time with others, have in fact been isolated for the past ten years with no one close spiritually. You could be alone in NYC Central Station, with thousands of people passing by. And yet, I'd rather enjoy my own company than a simulated "friendship". I prefer to travel occasionally, and to meet spontaneously with strangers; I'm sincerely exchanging thoughts and expect nothing else out of it, and to never meet again, rather than expect forming relationships that fail. I truly believe in this quote

    • I've lived alone for many years.

      I value friendship but I don't feel the need to be with others all of the time. That said, I have had some funky periods during this stay-at-home oddysey.

      I have always walked outside for exercise. That seems to help me keep my sanity although I admit I have overdone it lately; I need to remember to take rest days.

      Another thing that helps me is my photography. I use it to reset my mind, as a tool to see beauty in the things around me. Do you have an activity you enjoy that might help?

    • Denise is right, a hobby or a passion allows us to connect to the world, and derive meaning. As well as perhaps discover others, potentially in the same mind frame as ourselves.

      I think it was Freud who said "Those who have a why, know how to keep going" or something similar. Viktor Frankl's meaning of life writings and theories support this. But most importantly, I have lived them and know they are true.

      I know how hard it can be for you, it's hard for anyone to be both alone and incapacitated. Love is the only answer, and not the love in the books or religious texts. Comprehend your consciousness and love yourself and the world, everything will fall into place and you will be at peace. That's all I can say. I've been working on it for a long, long time..

    • Thank you for your reply. I do walk my dog about 1.2 miles around the neighborhood weather permitting. I'm going to try your journaling suggestion!

    • Thanks for your response! I love time to myself, but I need to be around people too.

    • Thanks for your response. I enjoy movies and playing backgammon online. I've got Netflix and Amazon, but they are getting boring.