I came to polyam by realizing that explicit monogamy ruins everything, but "casual" relationships leave me wanting. "But obviously, that is impossible, so I guess I'll be celibate until I figure out what is wrong with me." Then along came someone who was everything I would want in a partner, including dead-set against a forced monogamous relationship.
The last thing I'd want is to try to recruit :) We've all done it, and it doesn't go well. If you yank a crab out of its exoskeleton, no one's having a good time. If it doesn't feel like a burden to you, if it's a comfortable arrangement for you and your partner, I mean, great! It's working, you're happy, and that's the point, right?
It is very rare that any relationships end without someone getting hurt. That's just how it goes. One downside of polyamory is that you get to keep experiencing heartbreak, even after you're settled into long-term stability.
My primary partner and I have been polyamorous for almost a decade now. Even when we were effectively monogamous, we were "officially" poly. We each have a few other relationships now, which are also getting pretty serious. We've made this work by maintaining an extremely high level of communication, reassuring one another and making our needs known, making time for one another, and being respectful of our metamours and their needs. That is, all the same things you would do to make monogamy work, but a lot more scheduling and processing, and an unshakable mutual commitment to individual emotional sovereignty.